Category Archives: My Diary
Snow Day
Today started out AMAZING!!! I woke up to a thick blanket of snow outside my window. The perfectly white, fresh snow that’s just right for a Snow-Brandon (that’s like a snowman, only it’s got hair that swoops into its dreamy eyes). I leapt out of bed and ran down the stairs to confirm with my […] Read more
My Number One New Year’s Resolution!!!
It’s a NEW YEAR!! 2016!! It’s the year I’m going to become a movie star-Olympic athlete-class president-gourmet chef-world class gymnast-artist ! Okay, maybe not. But Chloe said during our New Year’s Eve sleepover that we each had to come up with a list of New Year’s resolutions. She was SO excited about it—she even busted […] Read more
Mom’s War on Stuff
I have AMAZING news and I have HORRIBLE news. First, Chloe invited me and Zoey to sleep over on New Year’s Eve and that is OBVIOUSLY the amazing news. BUT, my mother just totally lost it over how we have TOO MUCH STUFF and now there is EVEN MORE STUFF after Christmas presents and she […] Read more
Secret Santa INSANITY!!!
Ah, winter vacation—when I get to completely relax, with no stressful assignments. NOT!!!!! On the first morning of break, I stumbled into the kitchen and found every member of my family looking WAY too awake. “What?” I peeked over my shoulder to see if they were staring bug-eyed at someone else behind me. My dad […] Read more
Christmas Tree Shopping Disaster!!!
I can’t BELIEVE this is happening to me!!!!! Right now, I should be gliding across the ice, hand in hand with my BFFs at WinterFest, but nooooooooo! Do you know where I am right now?? I am CRAMMED into the backseat of our car getting poked in the neck by a Christmas tree branch, while […] Read more
I’M IN CHARGE OF THE THANKSGIVING PIES!
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd AAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!! That was not my impression of an angry pirate. It was me wondering WHY MY PARENTS DON’T GET ME AT ALL!!!!!! I was not being “rude” or “ungrateful” when I made a simple suggestion at dinner. Mom was talking about everything she needs to buy for Thanksgiving and I made the […] Read more
MY NEVER-ENDING HOMEWORK DRAMA!!
ME, FREAKING OUT BECAUSE BRIANNA HAS A JAR STUCK ON HER HEAD! 3:32 PM: I am starting a huge social studies report and I’m going to be the MOST productive person you ever saw!!! It is true that it was assigned six weeks ago and it’s due tomorrow and I haven’t started yet. But I’ve […] Read more
Listen Up! You Gotta Hear This!…
Exciting news! I just finished taping the audio of my new Dork Diaries Book 10: Tales from a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter! So, now it’s available as an audio book, which is basically me reading the book aloud. You can get it online and anywhere the books are sold. Would you like to hear it? […] Read more
Maybe Brianna Didn’t Ruin Halloween After All?!…
MY SPOOK-TACULAR HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS!! Okay, remember last week when I told you how Brianna went bonkers in the craft store and ruined my chances of getting some spooky new Halloween decorations? UGH!!! She is SO totally annoying! But. When we got home, I pulled out our totally sad, pathetic decorations and […] Read more
BRIANNA IS RUINING HALLOWEEN!!
OMG! I AM SELLING MY LITTLE SISTER! Seriously, could you use an occasionally adorable (but mostly infuriating!!!) little kid around the house? Maybe you need someone to drive you up a wall or steal your stuff or blame things on you? She comes at the extremely low, low price of FREE!!! JUST TAKE HER AWAY! […] Read more
