September 16, 2019


Hey Brandon,

People at my school are REALLY immature about guys having girls for friends. When a boy talks to a girl, they immediately assume they’re a couple. It’s SO FRUSTRATING! Once, I was just trying to ask a girl how to do a math question and everyone started wooing all over the place. It’s super annoying! What do I do?!

Frustrating Friendship Fiasco

What’s Up Frustrating Friendship Fiasco,

That IS annoying. And you’re right that they’re just being immature. In a few years, it will be totally cool to have all kinds of friends. (Or sooner, depending how old you are.) Being the guy who knows how to talk to girls will actually be a really good thing!

But for now, you’re in a tough situation. And it’s confusing. For a while, boys and girls can be friends like no problem, and then there are some weird years when everyone has cooties or whatever, and then there are years where everyone is automatically in loooooooove if they borrow a pencil.

And then sometime later, it’ll be fine to be friends with anyone again.

But what’s super confusing is no one tells you the rules. Like, it would be helpful if you were given a schedule in kindergarten that tells you:

  • Kindergarten – 1st grade: Friends are great!
  • 2nd – 3rd grade: Cootie-palooza!
  • 4th – 6th grade: Loooooooooooooove
  • 7th grade and up: Friends are great!

But that schedule doesn’t exist. It’s pretty accurate to how my friend experience has been, but it’s different for everyone.

The IDEAL thing to do, in my opinion, is roll your eyes and tell them they’re so immature. It’s true, and it might make them think about why that’s their response. If you’re not confident enough to challenge the people teasing you, you can at least give the eye roll to the girl you’re talking to and tell her how immature everyone else is. I bet she’ll agree.

If you can be as confident as possible, it might change how people act. And if it doesn’t, well, this phase will end eventually. And once it’s cool to talk to girls again, you’ll be way more comfortable than the other guys who were too busy teasing you to learn how themselves!

Are boys and girls able to be friends at your school? How do you feel about it? Tell us in the comments.