August 29, 2019


Dear Nikki,

I’m a pretty good artist and so is my best friend. But, we both upload our art on social media and she’s more popular than I am. She gets more likes and comments on her art than I do.  I know I should be happy for her, but I just can’t stop from feeling jealous! HELP!

Intense Instagram Envy

Hi Intense Instagram Envy,

Oh boy, I can soooo relate. And I’m sure a lot of my readers can, too. Not everyone shares their art on social media, of course. But everyone shares selfies and other personal posts and then waits for the likes and followers. Or the LACK of likes or followers. It’s totally messed up how terrible it feels when there are no new likes. It doesn’t even mean anyone disliked you or your art! It just means no one happened to hit that heart in the minute since you last checked your notifications! But it still feels like a total punch in the gut! 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-social media. I think there are some great things about it. The ability to share art is really cool! And I think it’s amazing when people have enough self-love and self-confidence to want to share their art, selfies or whatever on social media.

But when the constant comparison is causing more anxiety than joy, it’s a problem!

You might think that if you were just getting more likes, you’d be happier. But I doubt it. Your BFF with more likes and followers? She probably just feels pressure to have more and more. And she probably compares herself to other creators who have more likes and followers than she does.

If social media is making you feel bad and anxious more than it’s making you feel happy and connected, then something needs to change. I’ve done other posts about how to deal with phone addiction, so here I want to focus on this main point related to social media: 

Try to make your social media posts about what YOU like and what makes YOU feel good, not what you think other people will like.

This applies to art AND selfies, plus anything else you might like to post. Share the piece of art you’re super proud of because YOU love it, not because your BFF posted an awesome watercolor painting and got a bunch of likes so now you’re going to post a watercolor painting too. Instead, post a drawing of your fav Dork Diaries character not to compete with your BFF, but because you love to draw and you worked hard to master it!

And sometimes? Maybe keep some art for yourself and don’t share them. Just to see how it feels!

How do you feel when one of your social media posts gets lots of likes? How about when it doesn’t get many (or any)? Let’s talk social media in the comments!