September 20, 2014



Hey Brandon,

I like to play all kinds of sports and my favorites are soccer, basketball, and hockey.  Do guys really like sporty girls or should I try to be more girly like some of the other girls at my school?

Signed, Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Since I’m only one guy, I can’t speak for the rest of them, but I can tell you this: even though we all like different things, none of us likes a girl who’s trying to be something she’s not.

I know it may seem like it would be easier if you knew exactly what guys are into, but changing your personality isn’t like going to the store with a grocery list.

You can’t just pick “girly” off the shelf and all of a sudden become someone different. The only way to be girly if you’re not is to pretend.

And think about it the other way around for a minute.

Pretend there was this guy in your class who seems kind of cool. He’s really into photography, like me, but since he knows you’re into sports, he starts acting like this jock guy who plays fantasy football and eats hot wings in front of the TV on Sundays.

But since this isn’t who he really is, you never get a chance to learn about why he loves photography, because he’s too busy dribbling a basketball down the hallway (badly and awkwardly) to show you the camera in his locker.

Would you want that? Or would you rather get to know the real him?

And think about this: what if this guy tries to be everything you like, but then the things you like change? Would you want him to constantly change too?

At that point, you might as well have a robot for a crush, because it’s definitely not natural to re-program yourself over and over again to be what someone else wants you to be!

Since none of us has wiring or computer chips inside of us, a better approach is to be yourself and then look for a guy who likes that.

Like I said before, different guys like all kinds of different things.

Some guys are into sporty girls. Some guys are into girly girls. And some guys are into all kinds of random things you’d never imagine, like girls who collect troll dolls from foreign countries, or girls who are into video games, or girls who like to write their own comic books.

There’s a crush out there for everyone. The only way to find a good one for you is to be who you are.

I know a girl who does this really well, and that’s one of the reasons I like her so much – not because she’s sporty, or girly, or artsy, but because she’s never afraid to let her dorky self shine through!

I hope this helps!