July 27, 2016


Ask Nikki July 27th BFF Stops Texting

Dear Nikki,

Since school’s out, I’ve been texting my friend like crazy! But she doesn’t answer anymore and I’m really worried something might have happened to her, because she’s like a Chloe or Zoey to me! It’s pretty unlike her to not answer. She is not that kind of person. What should I do??

Texting Trouble

Hi Texting Trouble,

Wow, I can imagine how worried I would be if Chloe or Zoey just STOPPED answering my texts.

The very first thing I would do would be to call them. I assume you’ve tried that? But maybe not. I think we get so used to communicating by text that sometimes we forget the first reason phones were invented. NO, not to take selfies and text 24-7!!! To talk, person-to-person. With our voices!

So, if you haven’t done that yet, call, leave a voicemail, make sure she knows you’re there. If she lives close enough that you could walk or ride a bike or take a bus to her house, maybe drop by. I would drop by with a purpose, though. If you just show up, saying, “I wanted to see why you aren’t answering my texts?!?!” that might seem sort of stalker-ish. So drop by to invite her to do something specific, or ask if she wants to bake cookies or paint nails, or whatever you guys like to do together.

But you might call and even drop by and still not find her. In that case, I can think of a bunch of reasons she might not be texting you back. Here they are, off the top of my head:

  1. She might be out of range. Maybe her family went on a last-minute trip and now they’re in the mountains or something and she can’t get a signal, or her battery ran out and she’s camping and has no way to charge it!
  2. She might have lost her phone— like, literally lost it, or lost it as a punishment. Or dropped it in a toilet bowl (not that that’s ever happened to me, I SWEAR!).
  3. She might need space. This one would probably be the hardest to take, especially if you’re really close. My feelings would probably be hurt if Chloe or Zoey told me they needed space. But depending on the kind of person she is, she might just need some super chilled out down time, now that school’s out. You know? She might need time to stay in bed until noon, or zone out in front of the TV. If she’s at all introverted, meaning being around other people is really draining for her, the school year is probably ROUGH. Those sorts of people really need to soak in the quiet and lack of interaction during the summer.

So, try not to worry. I can understand why you would worry, but chances are she’s fine and there’s a completely understandable explanation.

Maybe you could use the time that you’re not texting her to make her goofy videos or fill a notebook with goofy poems and drawings for her, so when you do see her again, you can say, “Hey! I missed you! So I made this for you!”

I hope you get to talk to her soon!

How do the rest of you handle it when a good friend stops responding to texts?