February 28, 2015

My Bff highjacks my style


Hi Brandon,

My BFF is driving me crazy!!! If I get a new trendy purse, she gets one, too. If I change my hairstyle, she changes hers. If I buy a cool sweater, she buys the exact same one.

I love my BFF, but she copies EVERYTHING I do!!! It’s gotten so bad that strangers have stopped us in the mall and asked if we were twins. Like, how strange is that?!! It would be cool if we planned it, but this has gotten totally out of control. Please help!

So Not Twinsies

Dear So Not Twinsies,

I bet it’s kind of bizarre to have someone copying everything you do. You should tell her that you’ve started using mayonnaise for moisturizer and see if she does that, too.

I kid! That’s pretty mean and immature, and I have a feeling you’re better than that.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and that might be what’s going on here: Your friend admires you so much that she wants to be like you.

Either that, or she wants the world to know you’re best friends, and she figures matching clothes are kind of like two sides of one of those BFF necklaces.

Since you love your friend, you probably don’t want to approach her at her locker one day and say, “Stop copying me – it’s getting weird!” That would make anyone feel pretty bad and embarrassed.

So, maybe instead you can help her find her own personal style, and then point out what makes it so cool and unique.

For example, if you grab a Katy Perry T-shirt and then she grabs the exact same one, you could say, “Hey, since you’re into soccer, why don’t you get this ‘I Kick Like a Girl’ shirt? It’s cool, kind of funny, and one of a kind – just like you!”

If you do this often enough, she’ll start to realize that you don’t need to do everything the same in order to stay close friends, and that you actually appreciate her for all the things that make her different.

If this doesn’t work, try to be patient with her. It’s possible she’s a little insecure and, if so, she’s probably kind of sensitive.

Regardless, one thing is for sure: she thinks you’re pretty awesome, and friends like that are hard to find.

I hope this helps!