August 30, 2017



Dear Nikki,

I love singing and I do it all the time! Sometimes, I just can’t help bursting into song—and I don’t want to! But I don’t know if I should keep singing because some other kids said I was annoying and told me to stop singing. But I love singing! What should I do?!

Song In My Heart

Hi Song In My Heart,

I mean…you’re asking ME. What do you think I’m going to say? Let your inner dork shine through, obviously!! 🙂

But it’s not always that simple. I get it.

I totally understand where you’re coming from. I love singing, too! And sometimes I just HAVE to bust into song. I hear a little snippet of a song playing in a store…or something reminds me of the lyrics to a song and I have to share it with the world!

And it’s not always about sharing it—sometimes it’s just about having the music inside and wanting to sing for ME and no one else! If other people happen to be around, well…

BUT I do think that while we always want to let our inner dorks shine through, we sometimes have to be aware of social cues. Of what’s appropriate. I mean, it wouldn’t be cool to bust into Beyonce during the middle of a math test. Or in the library. Or at a funeral.

I mean, obviously.

Sometimes the social cues might not be QUITE so clear. And it can be a tricky line, figuring out when to be aware of how people around you are reacting, and when to let that go and be yourself no matter what. I’d love to say you should ALWAYS be yourself no matter what, but I also know what middle school is like and I know that sometimes you have to protect yourself and be a little careful.

If you really LOVE to sing, the best thing is probably to find an acceptable way to express that. Join a choir, a glee club, do musical theater, or take voice lessons. And by doing these things, you’ll make friends who ALSO love to sing and won’t be annoyed when you do.

I’m not saying you can’t ever just bust into song because you feel like it. That’s who you are! You totally should. And if you’re confident enough not to care how people around you react, then go for it! It would be awesome if you could surround yourself with people who also love bursting into song. If you’re NOT surrounded by those people, and you don’t want to deal with people who are annoyed with you, maybe tone it down a little? You could start by humming. 🙂

But also remember you can’t please everybody all of the time. So I guess I’m back to saying you have to be yourself. But you have to be the self you’re comfortable sharing with the world, and everyone who’s ever been through middle school knows that sometimes that means being a more chill version of yourself. At least until you’ve found other people who love singing like you do.

Did that help at all? The whole question of middle school and being yourself is really hard. But as you figure it out, just know you’re not alone!

Do you have any habits other people find annoying? Do you try to stop yourself from doing them, or do you deal with the annoyance? Tell us in the comments!