December 8, 2018


Hi Brandon!
I’m entering a contest at my school and I want to WIN! I think I’m good enough to earn first place, but now I’m afraid to lose! Can you help me overcome my fear of losing?

Lisa The Lousy Loser

Hey Lisa The Lousy Loser,

Okay, first of all, I think it’s awesome that you entered the contest! Contests can be pretty scary. So you’re already an awesome winner in my book. (I know, I know, that’s totally cheesy and I don’t even care. 🙂 )

You’ve also got confidence, and that’s cool. Sometimes it’s hard for us to believe in ourselves, but not for you.

But yeah, the thing about entering contests is that there’s always a chance you could lose. You might not win, or you might not get cast in the play, or your poem might not be the best poem ever written. And it’s not only creative stuff, either. The same thing happens when trying out for a team, running for student council, or even making new friends.

The thing is, you definitely won’t win if you don’t try.

So, here are some things to keep in mind:

  1. Losing happens to all of us at some point in life. It’s very important to know how to lose without beating yourself up or getting mad at the winner. So, if you DO lose, consider it a learning process.
  2. Be happy for whoever wins, even if it’s not you. That’s like the #1 way to overcome your fear of losing. Hey, you’d want others to be happy if YOU won, right?
  3. In most contests, there can only be ONE winner. It’ll be tough for the judges to make their decision and sometimes you have no way of knowing EXACTLY how they decide. Even if you don’t win THIS contest, maybe you’ll win another one.
  4. Ever heard of the saying, “It’s not about winning, but how you play the game?” Well, that saying is true. Whether you win or lose, just keep trying to do your very best, because that’s what makes a REAL champion.

Look, even if you don’t win the contest (or make the team or get the part), it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. Just keep doing your thing, and you’ll eventually get rewarded for it. Make sure you also love what you do enough to keep on practicing it for fun.

And remember, it’s totally normal to feel a LITTLE snarky and jealous about not being the winner. But please don’t take it out on the winner, the judges or yourself. And DON’T GIVE UP.

How do you cheer yourself up when you don’t earn something you worked really hard for? Any advice for Lisa The Lousy Loser? Tell us in the comments!