February 29, 2020


Hey Brandon,

I need help! Lately I’ve been having a major friend problem! A new kid joined the school, and my BFFs and I thought it would be nice to be her first friends. She did become our friend, but I’m starting to get left out! Yesterday, my BFFs TOTALLY IGNORED ME and went off to play with the new girl without me! What do I do?

Frustrating Friendship Frenzy

What’s Up Frustrating Friendship Frenzy,

Oof, this sounds tough! It was really nice of you and your friends to welcome the new girl. Being new is really hard and I’m sure she was very grateful.

But a new person can change the dynamic of a friend group, and it sounds like that might be what’s happening. But it doesn’t mean you’ve lost your friends! It just means you and your friends need to communicate a little more to make sure no one gets left out. 

Just in case they don’t realize they’re leaving you out, try talking to them about how you’re feeling. Don’t accuse them of doing anything on purpose. Just tell them your feelings were kind of hurt when they went off without you and you really hope everyone can be included.

It might be a good idea to spend some time with the new girl, just the two of you. Invite her over to your house on the weekend and hang. Getting to know her and like her as a person will help you feel less like she’s the person taking your friends away, and more like she’s another friend of yours.

And another way you can make sure you’re included in the group is to be in charge of things. Suggest activities for everyone to do together. Invite the whole group over to your house. If you’re planning things, you can’t be left out. 😀 

You could also use this as an opportunity to make new friends, because you don’t have to do every single thing together with the same group of friends all the time. Instead of feeling sad and all alone, try to expand your friendship group. The more friends you have, the less likely you’ll ever feel left out. 

Finally, if they’re really your BFFs, they’ll make sure to include you next time. 

Do you ever feel left out in your friend group? How do you handle it? How do you make other people feel included? Tell us in the comments!