I’M A BIG TRAITOR!!
I just blabbed to my BFF’s crush that I liked him right before she was about to ask him to the school dance. And now, I feel like such a TRAITOR! What should I do?
Hi Total Traitor,
Okay, this is not good. But I want to thank you for being honest about what you did. A lot of people write me about terrible things other people have done to them (which is fine, since people need advice on that). But, people don’t write much to admit the terrible things they’ve done to other people unless they’re SUPER BRAVE. So you’re super brave, because you know you did something crummy and you’re not afraid to admit it.
So, um…I going to be really honest with you too. I’m afraid that what you just did could really upset your BFF. I’m not trying to make you feel worse, I just really want you to sort things out with her before it hurts your friendship!
Here are a couple things that you could do…
First, you HAVE to make things right with your BFF. If she doesn’t already know what you did, you need to come clean. Please don’t try to cover things up. She’ll find out eventually and it’ll be WAY worse if you tried to lie. You need to admit how uncool it was to tell her crush you liked him before she could ask him to the dance. Then, just say you’re sorry. Please do not make any excuses. That’s important. You were wrong and you have to admit it fully, or she may not trust your apology.
Second, ask her if there’s anything you can do to make things right with her. Now, there is a slight chance that she might not know how. Or, she might forgive you right away. She might even need some time and space to be upset about the whole thing, but fingers crossed that this won’t happen! You have to respect however she responds, because of what you did.
But the good news is that if SHE ever messes up (because we all do sometimes), she will remember how you handled things and hopefully she’ll handle things the same way…willing to apologize and make up for it.
Okay, so about the guy. Sounds like you’re kind of crushing on him too, right? But, you knew your BFF liked him first? Ultimately, it’s up to him how he wants to handle this, but if he still wants to go to the dance with your BFF, please don’t feel bad. Crushes don’t last forever. Besides, it’d probably be A LOT easier on you AND your BFF (AND your crush!) if you started liking a guy your BFF doesn’t like!
Truth be told, it looks like you’re more interested in a clear conscience than trying to steal your BFF’s crush away. So, keep on trying to be the kind of BFF you’d want her to be to you, and remember: SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS! 🙂