June 30, 2018


Hey Brandon! I used to live in Delaware, but then I moved to Texas. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY miss my BFF. And since we’re so far away, our parents won’t take us to visit each other. I know we can FaceTime, but is that really the same? I’ve made friends here, sure, but there’s no one like her! She’s the only one who really understands me! I can’t count how many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep because I miss her so much. What should I do?! Please help!!!

Faraway Friend

Hey Faraway Friend,

It’s the WORST when we have to move away from friends, or friends move away from us. Your move was a BIG one, but it can even be hard if a friend moves a few towns over. Because at least until we can drive, that pretty much means we’re not going to see them. And when it’s a big distance like yours, you’re not even going to see them on special occasions.

So first, how do you to stay connected when you’re suddenly whole states away from your BFF and you don’t know when you’ll ever see them again???

I’m not going to try to tell you that FaceTime is the same as hanging with your bestie in person. But, it’s still pretty great. Like, imagine fifty years ago. When someone moved away, all they could do was write old-fashioned letters. And then WAAAAIIIIT for them to be delivered, and then WAAAAIIIIT for the friend to write back and mail their letter, and then WAAAAIIIT some more for THAT letter to be delivered.

Don’t get me wrong—letters are awesome—but they never got to see their friend’s face or hear their voice (unless they made an expensive long-distance phone call).
Or a hundred years ago? Or more? Think of all those families who went west in covered wagons like in Little House on the Prairie. When they said good-bye to people, it was basically good-bye forever.

I know “it could be worse” isn’t the greatest argument but…it really could!

So try to be grateful for FaceTime, at least. And texting, Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever else you guys like to do.

It’s definitely going to be different from what you had before. That’s just a fact, and a total bummer. But since you can’t change the situation, try to make the best of it. You’ll have to figure out what works for you guys. Maybe that means you set regular times to FaceTime. Or maybe you just do it whenever. Maybe you can come up with fun ways to share the new things in your life with her, like sending her photos of things in your new neighborhood.

And even though it’s not the 1970’s, you can still send regular letters and care packages through the old-fashioned mail. Everyone loves mail, so that could be fun.

The other thing I want to say is that while your BFF will always be your BFF (after all, it does mean Best Friends FOREVER), try to be open to making new friends in Texas. And try not to be jealous if she makes some new friends back in Delaware, or gets closer with some people she wasn’t as close to before.

You both want to be happy, and you want each other to be happy, right? And you CAN be happy with new friends and ALSO stay good friends long distance.

I hope this helps. It will be different, but it WILL be okay. I promise!

How do you handle it when you or a friend moves away? What are your best tips and techniques for long-distance friendship? Tell us in the comments.