June 18, 2016



Hi Brandon! I have a good friend who is like my brother. But then I started having weird dreams about him. And okay, I’ll admit it, I’m starting to think of him as more than a brother. Lately, I’ve been thinking about him a lot. Also, this weird thing is happening to me. Whenever someone mentions his name, I blush so much that my ears turn red!! I don’t know what’s happening. Brandon, have you ever felt like this when you think about someone? What did you do? What is your advice? Does anyone feel like this? Please help me understand this problem. I am really confused.

Christy’s Crush Crisis

Hi Christy!

You have come to the right place for advice, because I have DEFINITELY felt like this. I bet lots of readers have!! 

So first of all, I’m pretty sure that weird thing that’s happening to you is a crush. You describe it kind of perfectly, with your ears turning red at the mention of his name. For some people, it might be a weird flipping sensation in their stomach. And for others, it might be suddenly clammy hands. Their hands might get so clammy that they drop their camera…been there, done that, got the t-shirt! But, whether it’s ears, hands, or shaky legs…that sounds like a crush, no question.

I think what’s more confusing to you, though, is that this guy started as a close friend. Right? And that’s different than having an insta-crush on someone the first time you see them.

It would be weird-bad if he WAS your brother. But the fact is, a friend who’s close like a brother is just someone you trust a lot and have a long history with, and while having a crush on him is different than what you had with him before, it’s not wrong.

You might be worried that these new feelings are going to change your friendship. And that’s understandable. They might. But since you’ve got such a strong foundation, I think your friendship will be okay in the long run.

One positive thing you’ve got going for you is that you don’t have to make up excuses to hang around him, if he’s already a close friend. Some people only catch glimpses of their crushes between classes or across a crowded bus. You can keep hanging out with him, just like you always have!

So, I think you should take advantage of that and continue to hang out with your friend. And, understanding what those weird feelings are will help. Remind yourself he’s still the guy he’s always been. He has no idea anything has changed. And, nothing has to. You can keep feeling the feelings. They might fade. Or one day, you might realize that he has started to act googly-eyed around you.

Who knows what will happen? But try to enjoy the (sometimes sweaty, ear-burning) ride, because having a crush can be agonizing, but it’s also a ton of fun!!

Has anyone else ever had feelings change from friendship to a crush? How did you handle it?