October 13, 2016



Hi Nikki!

My school has student council. Each year, I apply to get in but I get rejected! I keep telling myself that next year will be the year I’m accepted. But it’s my last year at this school before I enter middle school, and I got rejected AGAIN! To make things worse, my friends have been accepted before, and I feel totally left out.

How do I get over the pain of rejection? I really need your help!

Rejected And Dejected

Hi there! I’m SO sorry you’re feeling sad about this! I would too, if Chloe and Zoey had both gotten in and I hadn’t. That’s SO crummy.

I think it says a lot about you that you’ve kept applying, year after year. Some people might have been discouraged after not getting in the first time and given up. It’s hard to put yourself out there when there’s a chance of rejection, ESPECIALLY if you’ve been rejected before. So, I think you’re awesome! You OBVIOUSLY have a ton of character—they don’t know what they’re missing!!

I don’t know how your council is selected, but obviously not everyone who’s qualified gets in. They probably have so many applicants that they have to turn down LOTS of people who’d be great. Maybe they need a balance of boys and girls, a balance of different ages, etc. It might be the sort of thing where it seems like there were eight spots open (or whatever), but really, they were only looking for one girl from your grade, your teacher’s class, your neighborhood, or whatever. So it might have been even more competitive than you realize.

What I’m saying is, not getting in does NOT mean you weren’t good enough. It just means people who made the choices thought someone else was a better fit, for whatever reason.

I wonder if you can figure out WHY you wanted to be a part of that council so badly. And then, MAYBE you could come up with ways to achieve those things anyway. Like, if you wanted to be more involved in your school, that council isn’t the only way to do that. If your BFF is on the council this year, she can give you the inside scoop on when they might need volunteers for the fall festival, the holiday concert or whatever. Or, you could ask the council advisor if there is a way you can support their activities in some way. OR, if you wanted to develop your leadership skills, maybe this is your chance to do that in another way. Maybe you could start your own club, try out for a play or sports team, or take up martial arts.

I get that this is your last year, so now you won’t have another chance to be on the council at your elementary school. But, you are going to middle school! And then high school! And, do you know what both those things have? WAY more opportunities for leadership and school involvement!! SO, that means many more clubs, teams and activities! And most importantly, another shot at student council!

So, when you start feeling dejected about getting rejected, make a list of all the things you want to try next year in middle school. And find other ways to get involved!

I hope that helps, and that you find an AWESOME way to use your talents!

How do the rest of you handle it when you don’t get picked for something?