November 14, 2020


Hi Brandon,
I’ve got this really good friend who I recently started crushing on. We used to text all the time, but now that I LIKE-like him, I keep wondering if I’m texting him too much. Plus, I’m overanalyzing every text I send—I never used to do that! If he finds out that I’m crushing on him, I don’t want him to think I’m smothering him. What should I do???

Tormented Texter

Hey Tormented Texter,
You know what? I also have a really good friend that I’M crushing on (I’m pretty sure you know who I’m talking about 😉), so I know how you feel. It’s hard to know exactly how much to text someone, especially if you start crushing on them and don’t know if they like you back.

It stinks that you feel like you have to analyze your texts, but I get it. You want to make sure you say the right thing. I’ve done that with texts, too. I’ll write them, then delete them a bunch of times before sending. Then I sit there, waiting to hear back and stressing about whether or not I wrote the right thing.

I think it’s cool that you text so much—that must mean that you’re really close friends, which is awesome. I text with my bandmates a lot, and it really helps me when I’m stressed about schoolwork or my photography.
Sometimes I get nervous when I text Nikki. So if you’re not sure if your crush likes you back, because you’re both feeling too awkward to talk about it, um, yeah, I can totally relate to that too.

Bottom line, here’s my advice:

  1. Don’t feel like you need to change your texting habits with him. If you do, he might wonder why you’ve stopped communicating so much and think that you don’t want to be friends.
  2. Here’s a big one: if you don’t want to tell him that you’re crushing on him quite yet, make sure you don’t send a text to the wrong person, talking about your crush. Um, this one time, I sent a text to Nikki by mistake, and I was so embarrassed! And she sent a text to me by mistake, too. We both just tried to ignore the whole thing and it was reeeeeeeeeally awkward.
  3. Remember that boys feel the exact same way when they start crushing on friends.
  4. Try not to overanalyze your texts—just keep having fun conversations. Who knows? Maybe your crush is feeling the same way. Keep it real, keep it normal, and if he likes you, too, well… you’ll know at some point.
  5. Don’t let a crush get in the way of your friendship. Even if Nikki never LIKE-liked me, I’d still want to be friends with her, because she’s really cool. And she’s got a great smile. And she’s funny and loyal and—oops, sorry, I’m getting off track.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got for today!
It’s your turn, readers. Have you ever stressed about how much to text with a person that you really like? Let us know in the comments!