December 13, 2017


Dear Nikki,

I’m totally OBSESSED with my crush! He’s the wallpaper for my phone and I could doodle pictures of him ALL DAY LONG. He’s the first person I look for in a room, and I like to copy EVERYTHING he does. I ALWAYS want to know what he’s doing on Facebook and Instagram. I’ve also even Googled his name a few times. This obsession is driving me NUTS. How do get over it?!

Obviously Obsessed

Hi Obviously Obsessed,

Okay. So, the good news is that you realize this is an unhealthy obsession. It would be a lot harder to help you if you thought this was a normal crush. But this is having a negative impact on your LIFE and that’s not okay.

Good for you for recognizing that!

I think your first step is cutting down on the obsessing when you’re not even with him. You obviously need to change the wallpaper on your phone. Maybe create a penalty where you have to do ten pushups every time you draw him, Google him, or look at his social media accounts. Or you have to put a dollar in a jar every time, and then that money is given  to charity or a family member. Make sure it’s something that will make you think twice before you do those things!

If you can get a friend or family member to check in with you on this – check your sketchbook, your Google search history, etc. – that might help, since there are ways around those things. You could just draw in a different notebook, or clear your search history. So the point is, you have to WANT to stop, and the accountability might be enough to help you cut down.

I think you really need to find other things to occupy your time and thoughts! And, make sure that it’s NOT another guy. Here are a few options:

  1. BE A HELPER – Think about how you can help other people in your community or at your school. Is there a new kid who needs to be shown around? Is there an old person in your neighborhood who needs their dog walked? Could the local animal shelter, library or food bank use a volunteer? Helping people is a great distraction.
  2. GET A HOBBY – Sounds as if you like to draw (just like yours truly ☺). There are cool challenges on Instagram for artists where every day for a month you’re supposed to draw something different and share it. That could be a good way to get your artistic focus on something different. Or set another goal for yourself – train to run a 5K, do a Goodreads reading challenge or learn to play an instrument. A new hobby will distract you from this guy.  Plus you’ll meet new people AND you’ll learn something new/have fun!
  3. BE THERE FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY – While you’ve been obsessed with this guy, there’s a good chance you’ve been neglecting your friends and family. That’s just reality, because if all your time has been spent focused on him, you haven’t been focused on THEM. So, now might be a good time to make up for that. Check in with friends you haven’t talked to in a while. Spend some quality time with parents and siblings. Do things you know THEY like to do and ask them about how things have been going for them lately.

Hopefully by taking these steps to distract yourself and occupy your mind with other things, the obsession will go away, and then when you’re in the same room with him, it won’t be as intense. Eventually it WILL pass. I promise. But it might take some work.

And, maybe our readers can give you some more ideas. How do you guys handle it when a crush turns into an obsession? What’s your best distraction tip? Tell us in the comments!