May 26, 2016


Ask Nikki Blog Art May 25Today’s post comes from Andrea, who writes:

Hi Nikki, I don’t have very many friends, which is okay with me. I homeschool, and I don’t want to go back to school. My emotional support and BFF is my diary! I constantly write in it and sometimes when I do, my parents say, “You already did that today! Come play with your sister!” This seriously bothers me! I mean, can’t I write in my diary when I want? Is it weird that my diary is my best friend? Do I need to stop writing in it so much?

Hi Andrea! Boy, can I relate to your problem! Not because I don’t have friends—you know about my girls Chloe and Zoey – but because my diary is my third BFF for sure!! I know what it’s like to write in it all the time. Because, hello! I totally do, too!!

So, I don’t think it’s weird to feel a special connection with your diary, and I definitely don’t think it’s weird to write in it more than once a day. And it’s so not weird to prefer diary-writing to playing with your sister (at least if she’s anything like Brianna)!
But, as much as I LOVE my diary…it’s not the same as my actual flesh and blood friends. I would be super lonely without them to talk to and goof around with sometimes. I think it’s great that you love homeschool and you’re not lonely. And some people are more solitary than others. Maybe that’s you. I heard my mom talking about introverts and extroverts the other day, and I guess introverts are people who NEED quiet time alone to feel energized, while extroverts need time with people. So you’re probably an introvert, and that’s just who you are!

However, I can also understand why your parents might worry, at least a little. Especially if they’re the sort of people who like more social interaction for themselves. I think parents sometimes assume we want the same things they do. One time, my mom made this gross dessert from her childhood and was SO upset when we didn’t like it. It was like, she had this amazing memory of it, so of course we were supposed to love it, too.

Anyway, I DEFINITELY don’t think you need to cut down on writing in your diary. But maybe, just maybe, you could open yourself up to the idea of a friend or two? Not to hang out with every day or anything, but just sometimes. When you need a friend who can hug you back.

In case you’re not sure where to start, here’s a list of places a homeschooled kid might make friends:

  • church/synagogue/mosque
  • parks/community center
  • homeschool association/co-ops
  • classes, like art, drama, or martial arts
  • sports teams or programs like Girls on the Run
  • scouts

In the meantime, maybe you could talk with your parents and let them know you’re not lonely. They might not realize how introverted you are. Let them know you feel better when you write in your diary and that it’s important to you. But also let them know that you realize other people are important, too. Maybe come to an agreement about playing with your sister sometimes, as long as you can also write in your diary when you want to.

And then, after you talk to your parents…write it all down in your diary!!

Does anyone else write in their diary ALL THE TIME? Is there such a thing as too much diary writing??