November 28, 2014


Ask Nikki 11.28

Today’s question comes from Ciara, who writes:

I was planning to go to my middle school Christmas dance with my friends, as six girls having a good time. But the boy who I’ve had a crush on since kindergarten asked me to go with him. My mom said I could only go if they meet the boy first, and now I’m stressing out!

Also, I told my friends and they’re mad that I changed the plan. We had everything prepared to have the best night of our lives. We had matching skirts and we were even going to have the same hairstyle! What should I do?

My Advice:

Hi Ciara! I totally get why this is a super stressful situation for you. On one hand, it’s not every day that your crush asks you out!

On the other hand, I’m sure it would be super awkward to have him sitting in your living room while your dad offers him a sardine on a cracker and your mom pulls out your baby albums.

Then there’s the friend dilemma…and as far as I’m concerned, that’s the biggest one.

I mean, you can totally recover from even the nastiest case of PHIT (parental-humiliation-induced trauma), but convincing your friends that you’re NOT an inconsiderate plan-changer who puts misters before sisters isn’t all that easy!

And it sounds like you guys have put a ton of thought into this. Matching skirts and hairdos? So much fun!

Unless there’s a school talent show or you all become Katy Perry backup dancers, you probably won’t have too many opportunities to look like sextuplets again! (In case you don’t know, sextuplets are like twins, but six instead of two…so three sets of twins. And you thought I was bad at math!)

I think there’s a way you can go to the dance without disappointing your friends OR your crush…and it doesn’t involve even a little bit of PHIT!

Next time you talk to your crush, tell him, “It’s so cool that you asked, and I’d love to go with you, but I already agreed to go with my friends. Why don’t we hang out a little at the dance and then go to the next one together?”

This accomplishes a whole lot of things at once:

-You can still stick to your original good-time girl plan, which your friends will appreciate

-You let him know that you’re the kind of girl who won’t just bail on her friends (and guys find that super impressive!)

-You let him know you REALLY like him

-You let him know in advance that if he asks you next time, you’ll say yes, so he won’t feel too rejected to do it

I know, you’ll have to deal with the parent problem later…but that gives you plenty of time to hide all the albums!

Just be sure you don’t spend TOO much time with him at the dance. Hang out with him a little = best of both worlds. Rock out with your friends a lot = best night of your life!

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice for Ciara?