Christmas Tree Shopping Disaster!!!

I can’t BELIEVE this is happening to me!!!!!

Right now, I should be gliding across the ice, hand in hand with my BFFs at WinterFest, but nooooooooo! Do you know where I am right now??

I am CRAMMED into the backseat of our car getting poked in the neck by a Christmas tree branch, while Brianna wails along to the sweet, sweet rhythms of the Princess Sugar Plum Christmas album!!!

I was SUPPOSED to go to WinterFest with Chloe and Zoey today, and Brandon was supposed to be there too!! Even better, MacKenzie’s family is away at some luxury ski resort. So there was no chance of her RUINING the beautiful moment I totally would have had with Brandon!!!

But when I came downstairs this morning, ready to leave, do you know what my mom said?? She said, “Oh great, you’re dressed! Let’s go!”

For a second I thought she’d read my mind and was all ready to drive me. Um, WRONG.

“We’re going to Uncle Al’s Cut-Your-Own-Tree Farm as a family!” she chirped. (I’m not even kidding. She sounded like a bird who’s right outside your window, singing his brains out, on the first morning you’ve gotten to sleep in like forever.)

“But Mom!! I’m already planning to—”

BUT SHE DIDN’T EVEN LET ME FINISH!!! RUDE!!!

“Nope!” she sang. “Family time! Meet you in the car!!”

UGH!!!!

I only had time to grab a banana and my phone. I texted with Chloe and Zoey all the way there about how I had been kidnapped by a RAVING LUNATIC (who happened to be my mother).

Thankfully, Uncle Al’s Cut-Your-Own-Tree Farm wasn’t too long a drive, so I had some hope that we might be able to find a tree, cut it down, and get home with enough time to make it to WinterFest.

After all, how hard is it to find a decent tree? They’re all just…trees. Branches, trunks, pine needles. We got out of the car near a bunch of trees that were already cut and in tree stands.

“That one,” I said, pointing to the first one I saw.

My dad looked like he thought it was fine, but my mom shook her head and insisted that we’d come all this way in order to have a tree cut down. What difference does it make???

So she led us through the pre-cut trees to this forest beyond. I have to admit, it was kind of pretty. There was a little bit of snow falling and the whole thing looked kind of like a Christmas card. But THEN I thought about how I COULD be sipping hot cocoa while staring into Brandon’s eyes and the snowy forest wasn’t pretty anymore.

“That one!!” This time Brianna had found a tree.

“I agree!” I called without even looking at it. My dad shrugged.

But THEN the guy with the saw told us we couldn’t have Brianna’s tree because it had already been reserved by someone else.

How do you reserve a tree??? If they wanted it, why didn’t they cut it???

So then Brianna FREAKED OUT. I mean, the works. She hurled herself to the ground, flailing around, making a very angry little snow angel. My mom and dad huddled and I moved closer to hear what they were saying.
When they finally turned around, my mom said, “Where’s Brianna?” And she GLARED at me like it had been MY job to watch her!!!!

If you ever want to play an EXCELLENT game of hide and seek, I recommend playing it in a forest. We searched for like an HOUR before we found Brianna sitting in the little booth where you pay for the tree, eating a candy cane and watching Princess Sugar Plum on the worker’s phone.

I didn’t think it could get any worse. My parents gave up on this being a fun family outing and agreed to get one of the already cut trees. I felt a little bit sorry for my mom. And when we got back to the parking lot, they’d forgotten to bring a tarp to protect the top of the car. My mom looked like she was about to burst into tears.

“It’s okay, Mom,” I said. “It can go in the trunk!”

“It won’t fit!” she wailed. I almost expected her to throw herself down and make another angry snow angel.

“It will if you shove the top in, between our seats, and let the end hang out the back.”

“Might be a bit tight,” my dad pointed out, but he looked hopeful that we might get out of there this century.

My mom finally agreed to try it, which is how I am now trying to write while being poked in the arm by the Christmas tree.

We just pulled into our driveway and I was still holding out the tiniest bit of hope that I could get to Winterfest for the last few minutes. It might even be kind of dramatic, like the very end of a romantic comedy.

But GUESS what my mom just said??

“Family time, part two!!! Let’s go decorate the tree!!!”