January 9, 2020


Help, Nikki!

I feel so immature compared to everyone else in my friend group. My room is painted purple with flower stickers on the wall. I’ve always liked my room and spent a lot of time in it, but my friends all have cute, trendy rooms with matching bedspreads, pillows and wallpaper. They don’t have stuffies and toys in their rooms. They all seem so mature even though we’re the same age. I always have this feeling of being left out. What should I do?

Immature And Insecure

Hello Immature And Insecure,

Well first of all, now I want to paint MY bedroom purple! It IS my fav color, after all! I think your room sounds awesome. I also don’t think there’s anything immature about stuffed animals or flower stickers.

Your room should feel like YOU. You could make it into some sort of sophisticated interior design showroom, but it wouldn’t change who YOU are.

It sounds like maybe this isn’t only about your bedroom. You might be feeling behind in other ways. There are SO many things that change in our tween years. For example, your friends might get new cell phones and you don’t have one yet. They might even start wearing makeup or have crushes, and none of that stuff has happened to you yet.

And you know what? Most of those things bring pressure with them. For example, having a crush seems exciting—and it is! But A LOT of letters I get are about “crush-tastrophes,” or crushes that drive people KA-RAY-ZEE. Having your own phone seems cool and super mature. But as soon as you do, there’s texting and social media drama. PLUS I get tons of letters from people feeling addicted to their phones!

Hey, this stuff isn’t ALWAYS bad. But, you shouldn’t rush into it or want it just because your friends have it since it’s not always much fun.

ALSO! A lot of these things might make you feel more mature? But they don’t mean you truly are. After all, maturity is really more about how you are inside and how you handle things emotionally. Anyone can put on lip gloss or high heels. But how do they react when they don’t get their way? (Hmmm…Mackenzie Hollister comes to mind…)

And you know what else? I just googled “college dorm room stuffed animal” and in the image search I saw a TON of stuffies!

So no, I don’t think you’re immature for your age. And I definitely don’t think you need to change anything about your room. Your room should be a safe, comfy place to let your inner DORK shine through!

Hey readers, what do you guys think? Do you ever feel immature compared to your friends? Any advice for Immature And Insecure?