October 7, 2014


Annoying Things

Grrrrrrrr! That’s me growling because I’m SUPER tired and SUPER annoyed with everyone and everything right now.

Literally EVERYTHING is bugging me today! Since I’m a cross between Oscar the Grouch and Eeyore right now, I decided to make a list of some of the most annoying things in the whole wide world. Here goes!

  1. When the PB&J sandwich you brought for lunch feels like a sticky sponge soaked with grapey gooeyness because you used WAY too much jelly.
  2. When you put a winter jacket on over a sweater, and your sleeves get all bunched up near your armpits, like massive wool biceps.
  3. When you can’t pull a paper towel out of the dispenser in a public bathroom because it’s stuck, and the bottom part disintegrates into gross little paper pieces that stick to your sopping wet hands.
  4. When you’re nice and comfy in bed on a freezing winter night, all wrapped up like you’re in a blanket burrito, then you realize you left your phone in your mom’s car, where it’s DEFINITELY not charging.
  5. When you text your crush “I’m SO happy right now!” but you accidentally hit the “g” instead of the “h” and your phone autocorrects it to “I’m SO gassy right now!”
  6. When you get your hair all sudsy and make one of those fake Mohawks, then run out of hot water because you spent too much time singing into your bath brush and playing “shampoo stylist.”
  7. When the boy sitting in front of you in biology has such massive body odor that you need an oxygen tank to breathe!
  8. When you use the last of your fake vomit ingredients to convince your mom that you’re sick and need to spend the WHOLE day in bed, then school gets cancelled because it’s snowing.
  9. When you’re having an AWESOME conversation with your crush, then your mom picks up the phone mid-conversation to ask if you want your My Little Pony nightgown washed.
  10. When you see your crush at your local pizza place and laugh at all his funny jokes, only to realize in the bathroom three minutes later that you look like you flossed with pepperoni.
  11. When the dentist decides he absolutely needs to know your favorite subject and weekend plans RIGHT AFTER he clamps your mouth open so wide that a small child could probably take cover in there for “Hide and Seek.”
  12. When you CAN’T WAIT to eat the tasty looking fries you ordered, after standing in line for 20 minutes, then the top comes off the salt shaker, making your plate look like a big pile of snow.
  13. When you raise your hand to answer a question, thinking you’ll look SUPER smart, but when you open your mouth, you burp so loud that your math teacher hears it…and you’re NOT in math class!
  14. When you get to the cash register with everything your mom asked you to buy, then the woman behind the counter yells across the store, “Hey, Bob…are we still running a sale on hemorrhoid cream?”
  15. When you’re having a bad hair day AND you popped a big zit that looked a little like a tiny red planet on your forehead, then your teacher reminds you it’s school picture day.

It’s all SO annoying, right?? What do YOU find totally annoying?

E-mail me at Nikki@DorkDiaries.com and title your e-mail, “annoying things.” I’ll select the top six responses and post them here!