WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION?!?!
I have written you like a million emails and you NEVER answer my questions! What is UP with that?! My feelings are starting to get hurt! And I NEEEEED advice!!!! Pleeeeaase answer me!!!
Anxious For Advice
Hi Anxious For Advice,
Hey, I’m so sorry your feelings are hurt! And you’re not the only one. I’ve been getting more messages lately from people who are upset their questions haven’t been featured here or on Brandon’s column. So I wanted to take the time to explain, if I can.
The thing is, I usually spend an hour or two answering just ONE advice letter. If I could answer EVERY letter that comes into the Ask Nikki inbox, I totally would. Except then I’d be spending 24 hours a day working on advice letters only! I wouldn’t have time for friends, family, schoolwork, writing in my diary, eating or sleeping, honestly. Because I get a LOT of emails! Which I LOVE!
But seriously, there are hundreds of emails a week, and I only get to feature ONE on the website each week. Same with Brandon and his column. So doing the math, that leaves a LOT of unanswered questions. And I’m super sorry about that !!
The cool thing is that you can look back on the website at lots of other questions I’ve answered before. I know it might feel like your problem is totally unique, but if you read some of the posts I’ve already written on similar topics, you might find the answers you’re looking for.
Sometimes I get a half dozen letters about the same topic in one week, like how to deal with a crush. Since I would not answer the same question over and over again, the fact that I got several questions from you and others is the reason I would select a certain topic. So, even if I don’t select a question from you personally, your letter still would have motivated me to answer a certain topic.
If you’re on the Ask Nikki page (and same with Ask Brandon) there’s a search window on the right that says “Search Nikki’s advice.” As an example, I just put ‘parents’ in the search field and I got like fifteen PAGES of results showing questions I’ve answered regarding issues with parents! Pretty cool, right?!
I know it would be more special to get your specific question answered, but if what you really need is help, you can probably find it on the Dork Diaries website.
I’m not saying you should give up! PLEASE keep sending your questions in! I’m so honored that you share your problems and questions with me. I love reading them and I’ll keep doing my best to answer them. But please don’t be discouraged or think I don’t care about you if I don’t get to your question!
I’ll keep doing my best and you keep doing your best. We’re all in this together!
Who do you turn to for advice? What’s some of the best advice you’ve ever gotten on the Dork Diaries website? Tell us in the comments!
July Calendar – Firework Fun
Right click the download button to save the calendar of your choice on your computer.
QUIRKY QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Hey everyone, how are you enjoying your summer so far?! I have a really HOT quirky question of the week, just in time for some fun in the sun! Okay, here it goes…
It’s 92 degrees outside. You and your three besties are planning the ultimate hangout to keep cool in the hot weather! Which one would be your dream activity?
A) Spend the day splashing around at the beach!
B) Have fun zooming down a thrilling waterslide at the water park!
C) Hanging out at a pool party and eating yummy pizza!
The choice is YOURS! Tell me all about it in the comments below and why you chose that activity.
MY PARENTS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!
GET. ME. OUTTA. HERE! My parents are literally driving me KA-RAY-ZEE!! We argue over EVERYTHING, including school, what to have for lunch, and how my new room should look. I’m upset and angry all the time, but I have to keep it to myself and pretend to be happy. I sometimes have to cry alone in the bathroom! Please answer soon, or I will simply lose my mind!
Family Feud Frustration
What’s Up Family Feud Frustration,
Oh wow, this sounds rough! And I bet it’s harder than usual right now, with social distancing AND being cooped up at to home. Having healthy relationships with parents (or other caregivers, like my grandparents) is one of the hardest things about being a kid.
When we’re little, parents make all our decisions for us. They have to because we can’t take care of ourselves. But as we grow up, we start to have opinions and it’s hard for some parents to give us more freedom. (Okay, probably ALL parents, but some more than others.) It can be extra frustrating when they want to control everything, but then they also want us to be mature. It’s like, THEN LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS, WHY DON’TCHA?!
(Can you tell I relate? )
But, I wonder why you have to keep it to yourself and pretend to be happy. Do your parents get mad if you express yourself and tell the truth? Even if you try to share it nicely and respectfully?
I know it’s hard to be nice and respectful when it feels like THEY’RE being totally unreasonable. One thing that I think really helps is to choose your battles. If you fight them on EVERYTHING, they won’t listen to ANYTHING. But if you agree with them on some things, they might be more willing to listen when things really matter to you.
Like, I’m sure it’s frustrating if they don’t care about your lunch preferences, but maybe save that energy for getting the bedroom you want. And also, show them that you’re willing to compromise. Maybe they won’t let you paint your entire bedroom black, but would they go for one wall? Or a black bedspread and curtains?
If you truly CAN’T express yourself to your parents, then I really encourage you to find a way to do it somehow, like keeping a diary, venting with a friend, or some kind of exercise that helps you get angry feelings out of your body. Because pretending you’re happy is only going to make you more unhappy. Which really stinks.
If you can get out of the house AT ALL, like to walk the dog (or a neighbor’s dog), go for a bike ride or even just go sit out in the backyard, DO IT. But if you can’t, then try to escape into other fun worlds, like books, movies, video games or comics. And video calls with friends! Even the coolest parents become super annoying when you can’t get away from them at all.
How are you surviving being stuck with your parents? Do you argue constantly, or have you figured out a way to avoid arguments? Tell us in the comments below!
Class 1 Winners Sign up
I CAN’T SLEEP!!!
HELP! I’m eleven years old and I can’t sleep by myself! I think I’m stressed out by the pandemic and all the other problems in the world right now. I can fall asleep BUT I always wake up at like three or four in the morning. It’s SO frustrating! Whenever I wake up, I get kind of scared so I go to my sister’s room and sleep there. I feel like such a baby, but I can’t help it! The good news is that my mom said if I can fix this problem, she’ll get me a puppy. So, I HAVE to figure this out! Please help!!
Stressed Out Mess
Hi Stressed Out Mess,
Aaaawww! your mom said she’d get you a PUPPY?! Okay, we have GOT to solve this problem for you !!
And I mean, even if you weren’t trying to earn that puppy, not being able to sleep due to stress and waking up scared is NOT fun. So let’s see what we can do!
It’s great that you can fall asleep. That’s the first step! But for other readers who have trouble with that, here are some tips:
- Avoid screens an hour before bedtime, and don’t keep your phone (if you have one) by your bed. The temptation to reach over and scroll when you can’t get to sleep is REAL, and it just keeps you from falling asleep even more.
- Try to get outside and play during the day. Especially now when a lot of us are stuck at home without much to do, it’s easy to turn into permanent couch potatoes! But get out and walk the dog or play Frisbee with a sibling or something to get your body moving. It will help you sleep later.
- Listen to a guided meditation. There are lots of these online and even special apps for them on your phone. (I know I said no screens, but you only have to listen to it, not look at it.) The voices are always really soothing and they help your mind stop racing.
Now for when you wake up in the middle of the night: I know it feels babyish to be scared, but honestly I get it. When the house is all silent, everyone else is sleeping, I’m stressed out about the world’s problems and it’s dark…I get creeped out too! Here are some ideas:
- Turn off the bad news! This might be hard to do since your parents might have it on to find out what’s been happening in the world lately. But you could always go to a different room or pop in some earbuds and rock your fav tunes until it’s over. Give your nerves a break!
- Get a nightlight. This might seem babyish, but really, who cares? And who’s going to know, aside from your family, who already know that you’re having trouble staying asleep at night?! What really freaks me out at night is how dark it is. And the dark is a really easy problem to solve!
- Use your imagination! I mean, your imagination is probably already active, making you think about scary things. So, change what you’re thinking about. Try thinking about pleasant stuff or things that you enjoy! For instance, I’ll just imagine, like, the next sleepover I’ll have with Chloe and Zoey, the things we’ll do, the things we’ll talk about, what color pajamas we’re wearing and suddenly…zzzzzzzz.
- You can also use guided meditations to get back to sleep.
I hope all of this helps! And I REALLY hope you get that puppy !!
Do you have any tips for how to fall asleep and not stress out? Tell us in the comments!
And, the WINNERS are…!!
Thank you everyone for your patience!!
FINALLY! I finished this video announcing the winners, and it took me FOREVER!!
WHY?! Because I added a BIG SUPRISE!! So, even if your project DIDN’T WIN, please make sure you watch the ENTIRE video to the very end!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF THE WINNERS!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!
Your Dork Diaries Book 14 projects were FANTASTIC! We tried to select just 6 winners for each category, but it was IMPOSSIBLE to do.
We couldn’t agree on all of the winners!! So, Chloe, Zoey, Brandon, MacKenzie, and I compromised by each selecting our OWN set of winners.
This means we have TWICE the number of winners than I had originally planned!
Okay, now it’s time to announce the exciting news that you’ve been waiting for. Please watch the video below and remember to watch to the end for a surprise!:
On Thursday, June 25th, we will be posting a Dork Diaries Academy – Book 14 Project Winner Sign-Up Form.
It will contain all of the info YOU need to receive your award.
Again, CONGRATULATIONS to all of the winners!!
What did you think of this award video and the surprise?!! Please feel free to post your comments below.
HOW DO I CHOOSE A BFF?!
I have a LOT of friends, which is great, but they keep asking who my BEST friend is. I don’t know and I feel like I have to tell them! But then the one I don’t choose is going to feel bad. I’ve asked them if I can have more than one, but they say no. I have too many people to choose from and I don’t know who to choose. Please help me out!
Hi Bummed BFF,
Okay, first of all, I am PROOF that you can have more than one BFF! I would never in a million years choose between Chloe and Zoey (and they would never ask me to!).
I’m sure there will be some people who read your question and wish they were in your shoes. I definitely get A LOT of letters from people wishing they had a BFF, or any good friends at all. I’m not trying to make you feel bad—your situation sounds really tough! But maybe people who struggle with not having friends will see that even people with a lot of friends have problems, too.
Having BFFs is great! But honestly, having so many great friends that you can’t choose which one is the best also sounds pretty great. You shouldn’t HAVE to choose. And you’re right—if you choose only ONE person as your BFF, there are going to be lots of hurt feelings! If someone really IS your BFF, I don’t think you should hide that to protect other people. BUT if you truly don’t feel like you’re closer to one friend than another, don’t let them pressure you. After all, REAL friends don’t pressure friends to choose who’s the best!
Also, if everyone is trying to be named your best friend, it sounds like you actually have some power. I know that comes with tons of pressure. But you can also use that power in a good way! If they really want to be your friends so badly, they’re not going to dump you if you refuse to name a BFF. Instead, tell them that you think they’re all equally awesome in their own way! Then point out why you think so for each friend. For example, one friend might host amazing sleepovers, while another has a great sense of humor. Hopefully that should make them feel special enough to get them off your back! LOL !!
So, I say stand strong! Tell them you’re not choosing. You love all your friends and they’re all special and that’s that. There might be some hurt feelings from people who think you should have chosen them, but it won’t be as bad as if you had actually named someone else. They’ll get over it. (And if they don’t, they DEFINITELY aren’t BFF material.)
What do you guys think? How do you deal with choosing the best BFF, or do you think you shouldn’t have to choose? Tell us in the comments!
The Summer Dork Maker Is Here!
Summer has finally arrived! The sun is out, the birds are singing, and the Summer Dork Maker is here! Instead of my regular post today, I want you to go have some fun with our Summer Dork Maker at the link below.
Also, please tell me what you think of the Dork Maker in the comments section.