I’M NOT A CYPERBULLY!
I’m SO upset! My friend was saying mean stuff about me on social media, so I said something mean back. Then her mom told my teacher and now my teacher says I’M cyber bullying. IT’S NOT FAIR! I’m mostly upset because I feel like my mom is ashamed of me. She said that this could affect my school grades because I’ve always been a top student. My teacher also wrote me up, saying that I’m cyber bullying—what if I have to speak to the principal?!! My teacher thinks I’m a bully and my mom is making me delete my social media. Everyone is mad at me! PLEASE HELP!!
Social Media Meltdown
Hi Social Media Meltdown,
OMG! Okay, first of all, THANK YOU for being honest. I get a TON of mail from people who’ve been the target of bullying. But rarely does anyone admit to doing some of the bullying themselves.
It’s not cool that your friend posted mean stuff about you on social media. However, saying mean stuff back can also get you into BIG trouble. 🙁
I think your mom and teacher are really upset because they know how bad cyber-bullying is. Cyber bullying is NOTORIOUS for making a lot of kids’ lives MISERABLE. So, they want to take serious action before it really gets out of hand.
This one incident is not going to affect your grades. I think your mom just doesn’t want your teachers to see you as a troublemaker. It’s SUPER important to make sure this never happens again. Or if it’s happened before and you just didn’t get caught, make sure it stops here.
Although this has been a bad experience for you, you learned a very valuable lesson the hard way. Cyber bullying is unacceptable behavior.
Deleting your social media is a total bummer, for sure. However, it won’t be forever. It’ll give you a chance to back away and not get sucked into drama. It’ll give you a chance to show your mom and teachers that you’re genuinely sorry and want to earn their trust again. When you start over, you’ll be able to start afresh! 🙂
I think you should apologize to your friend. Don’t dwell on the fact that she started it. She knows that, even if the adults don’t. And, if she keeps posting mean stuff about people, she’ll eventually get in BIG trouble, just like you did. Next, try making new friends that wouldn’t get you into trouble like she did. It’s not really fair that all the adults involved are not holding her responsible for the fact that she cyber bullied you first. But, as the old saying goes, “Life ain’t always fair.”
Next, make sure your mom and teachers know how genuinely sorry you are, and how you want to earn their trust back. Then do just that—focus on your studies and on being a good person. I promise that it won’t be long before everyone has moved past this.
It won’t follow you forever. We all screw up. And we all deserve second chances. Your mom and teacher want you to be the best person you can be—that’s why they’re holding you to a strict standard. But, I’m sure they also understand that nobody’s perfect.
What would you do if you were in this situation? Do you have any advice for Social Media Meltdown? Tell us in the comments below!
SNOW DAY! SQUEEEE!!
OMG! Monday mornings are the WORST 🙁 !
Especially during the winter months when it’s always so dark and gloomy.
As usual, I woke up and dragged myself out of bed. But, when I looked outside, I couldn’t BELIEVE my eyes!
There was like a foot of SNOW outside! Apparently, a big blizzard hit during the night and our neighborhood looked like the North Pole.
So, school was canceled, and we got to stay home for a SNOW DAY 🙂 !!
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE snow days 🙂 !!
Brianna is already begging me to help her make a snowman, so we’ll do that after lunch.
The good news is that I get to plan an ENTIRE day of fun and relaxation!
But, I need your help! What would YOU do if your school was canceled and you had a SNOW DAY?!
To make it more exciting, I’ve set up a poll with fun activities for you to choose from.
I HAVE TO GET BRACES!!!
HELP!!! My parents say I have to get braces and I’m SO UPSET!!! I hate how they look and kids will make fun of me and they stay on FOREVER and food will get stuck in them and they’re going to hurt and UGH!!! I DON’T CARE IF MY TEETH ARE STRAIGHT!!!! How do I convince my parents I don’t need braces?!?!?
Hey Brace Face,
Okay, so I’ve never had braces. But I called Chloe and got some input on the stuff you’re worried about. Because here’s the most important thing: I don’t think you CAN convince your parents you don’t need braces.
I mean…sure, you don’t care if your teeth are straight. But your parents probably think you’ll care when you’re older. Or the dentist/orthodontist has told them you’ll have problems later when your wisdom teeth come in. Or whatever other reason—it doesn’t really matter. This seems like the kind of thing that almost all parents would be totally inflexible about.
So, if you HAVE to get braces, you’re not alone. Around 4.5 million Americans get braces every year and 80% of them are kids. I totally get being self-conscious, but you won’t be the only kid in your school or group of friends with braces.
Before you worry about how they’ll look, find out your options. Some people get metal braces. But some get clear or ceramic ones you can barely see. And if you DO get metal braces, you can still choose fun colors for the bands that go around each brace.
They’ll probably be on your teeth for 1 – 2 years. That sounds like a long time, right? But it’s not forever. So while you have them, follow all the instructions so they can come off as soon as possible.
Do braces feel awesome? Not according to Chloe. The way they work is by applying steady pressure to the teeth to literally move them into a new position. So…especially right after they get tightened, you’re going to be a bit sore. But the soreness goes away and Chloe says pain medicine like Aleve or Ibuprofen helps. Ice packs and soft foods also help. (Excellent excuse for lots of ice cream and popsicles! 🙂 ) And if you have an irritation inside your mouth where the brace touches your gums, your orthodontist will give you special wax that you can put on the braces to smooth them out.
Braces are not fun, but depending on the teeth you’re born with, they might be inevitable. So try to keep positive, remember you’re not alone, and enjoy all the chilly desserts!
Do you have braces? Do you have any tips to share in the comments?
HELP! I Still Love Stuff That My Friends Say Is For Little Kids!
I’m a fifth grader who LOVES anything cutsey or childish. I watch all the cute shows for little kids, I love to play with dolls and stuffed animals, and I can’t last a DAY without browsing websites for unicorn, mermaid, and fairy accessories or toys. I also think Princess Suger Plum is AWESOME! But, my BFFs are really cool and don’t like the things I like. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m a childish baby if they find out what I’m into! But I don’t like feeling like I’m hiding a part of myself from my BFFs! What do I do?
Krazy About Kiddy Stuff
Hi Krazy About Kiddy Stuff,
I was at the mall with my mom last weekend and saw all three of these things:
- A teenage guy wearing a Pokémon t-shirt.
- A college girl with a Hello Kitty purse.
- A lady my mom’s age reading Harry Potter at Starbucks.
It seems like when we’re little, we’re allowed to like whatever we like. And when we’re older, we’re allowed to like whatever we like. (Maybe it’s even cool for teens and young adults to like things from when they were little.) But right now we are in this terrible in-between stage where we’re supposed to like very age-specific things and we’re “immature” if we still like stuff that’s so “third grade” or whatever.
I mean, there’s an argument to be made that if you’re into “babyish” things, you’re really as trendy and mature as a college student! 🙂
The point is you shouldn’t HAVE to be trendy. Your maturity shouldn’t be determined by what colors, shows, or characters you like.
And look, you’re talking about your BFFs. Not some random kids at school who might tease you. (Though we’ll get to that possibility.) You should be honest with your BFFs! And they’re probably also into some things that not everyone is into. You don’t need to make a big confession, like this is a huge deal, because it’s not. But I think you should always let your inner dork shine through! Maybe that means wearing the sparkly unicorn t-shirt! Or squeeing over an adorable stuffed animal in a store. Or asking if they’ve ever seen whatever show you’re into.
If they tease you at all, shrug them off. You might not feel this way, but ACT like you have no idea why they would think it was weird for you to like these things. And this goes for anyone who makes fun of you, BFF or not. If you can confidently pull it off and say, “Whatever, sparkly unicorns are the best,” it will leave them wondering if they missed a trend. Or wishing they had your self-confidence!
Each of us is crazy about different things. I respect your right to love whatever you want, EVEN if it’s Princess Sugar Plum! 🙂
Are you into something you’re worried is childish? Do you feel pressure to be into “more mature” things? Tell us in the comments!
QUIRKY QUESTION OF THE WEEK
It’s YOUR birthday! You’re throwing the ULTIMATE birthday party just like Nikki did in Dork Diaries Book 13!
Describe the type of party you’re having and what 12 guests are on your fantasy guest list. You can invite friends, celebs, and your fav TV/movie/book characters!
I can’t wait to read your answers in the comments below!
January Calendar – Winter Wonderland
Right click the download button to save the calendar of your choice on your computer.
HELP! Kids Call Me The “Teacher’s Pet!”
I need your help! I’m a good student. Like, not the super brainiest top of the class, but I get good grades. And I respect my teachers. It’s just how I was raised. So sometimes teachers will pick me for special privileges, like running things to the office or leaving first for lunch. I think it’s awesome, except for one thing: other kids call me the teacher’s pet!!! I want teachers to like me…but I don’t want to get teased for it. Help!
Teacher’s Pet Problems
Hello Teacher’s Pet Problems,
Oh man, this is so tricky. It’s such a weird insult when a teacher likes you. Then other people start to think you’re lame. I guess it’s not cool if a teacher likes you, because teachers are not cool. (Unless it happens to be a cool teacher. Rare, but they exist. In that case, I think you wouldn’t be a teacher’s pet.)
Mostly, I think it’s just jealousy. “Teacher’s pets” are usually smart. Think of Harry Potter – Hermione got mocked for always knowing the answers and being well-liked by most teachers (except Snape). But she’s the true heroine of the entire series—how many times would Harry have died without Hermione’s smarts?!
I understand not wanting to get teased. But you also don’t want to get on your teacher’s bad side just so kids stop calling you teacher’s pet. That doesn’t seem like it’d be a good trade-off for a few reasons. One is that these are probably kids who’ll find some reason to tease you no matter what.
Like, are the kids who call you teacher’s pet really kids you want to be friends with? Do they seem like nice, fun people? Probably not. Because the nice, fun people aren’t making fun of others for being respectful to adults.
Sure, disrespecting your teacher might temporarily stop the teasing. But in the long run, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to sabotage your relationships with teachers, who can have a big impact on your future, just for the favor of kids who aren’t going to be true friends anyway.
So, I think the best thing to do is ignore the haters. If someone says something directly to you like, “Why are you the teacher’s pet?,” just roll your eyes and confidently respond, “It’s called being helpful and smart.”
Have you ever been called a teacher’s pet? How do you handle it? Tell us in the comments.
My Friends Are Gossip Girls And I HATE IT!
Ever since we started middle school, my friends have turned into the biggest gossip girls and I HATE IT!!! They’re always talking about people, spreading rumors, and laughing behind other people’s backs. I have to admit that sometimes I do it too – it’s really hard to resist! But I know it’s wrong and I always feel AWFUL afterwards. What do I do?! And don’t tell me to get new friends, because I love my friends, even if they ARE gossip girls! Help!
Guilty Gossip Girl
Hi Guilty Gossip Girl,
OMG, this is SOOOO relatable! Not that Chloe and Zoey are gossip girls – they’re the sweetest ever!!! But we sometimes slip into sharing juicy news we’ve heard. Who doesn’t?! But I know what you mean: later it feels awful.
The thing about gossip is that it makes you feel like you’re a part of a club, and that’s a seriously good feeling. Everyone wants to feel like they belong! And it’s normal to want to compare ourselves to other people and feel good about ourselves.
But when you think about it, gossip is pretty much the root of all school drama. So it’s really not worth the temporary feeling of being in-the-know. Plus, it’s good to remember that if someone will gossip WITH you, they will probably gossip ABOUT you too!
First, I think it’s good to be clear about what gossip is and isn’t. Because gossip isn’t just talking about someone. If you say, “I love Zoey’s fashion style!” that’s not gossip. But if you say, “OMG, Zoey CANNOT pull off that look she’s going for today,” that IS.
So, here’s what I consider gossip:
- Saying something mean about someone. (A good rule of thumb is if you wouldn’t say it in front of them, you shouldn’t say it behind their back.)
- Telling or repeating negative stories you aren’t sure are true.
- Sharing information you know (or think) is supposed to stay private. Sometimes people might say “it’s not gossip if it’s true!” but I don’t agree with that. If somebody wouldn’t want it talked about, then we shouldn’t talk about it.
And here’s what I think is NOT gossip:
- Saying something nice about someone.
- Telling an adult when someone is in a dangerous situation. For example, if you hear that someone might bring a weapon to school or you suspect someone has an eating disorder, it isn’t gossip to tell an adult who can help.
So, what can you do if you want to stop gossiping, but your friends won’t stop?
I mean, first I think you can talk to your friends. Do NOT approach it like you’re judging them. Instead, approach it like something you think you can ALL work on together. It’s the perfect time of year to suggest a new resolution for your group: less gossip, more fun!
If you hear a rumor, don’t be the one to repeat it. And better still, try to shut it down. A simple statement like, “You don’t know that’s true” is all you need to say. And then try to change the subject!
If your friends say you’re no fun or whatever, just shrug it off and remove yourself from the conversation. You’re trying not to gossip as much and it’s challenging, so it’s easier for you not to be around gossip.
Also, a lot of gossip happens on social media. Sure, it’s frustrating to see. But you can really only be responsible for yourself. So ignore those posts, or point out when they’re mean or not true.
Hopefully your friends will be inspired to cut down on gossiping. However, if they don’t and it continues to bug you, then maybe it’s time for some new friends.
Do you or your friends gossip a lot? Any tips on how to stop? Please share your advice in the comments!
Happy New Year!!
Read my first few diary entries of the year, found in Book 5: Tales from a Not-So Smart Miss Know-it-all!Dork Diaries 5 – Tales From a Not-So-Smart Miss Know-It-A – Russell, Rachel Renee
HOW CAN I GET A LATER BEDTIME?!
I need help! My parents treat me like I’m two years old!!! Okay, maybe not TWO. But I’m tired of feeling like a little baby! They make me go to bed at EIGHT!!! My older siblings get to stay up until nine, but no matter how many times I ask, they won’t let me stay up later! How do I get them to change their minds?!
Hey Bedtime Blues,
This is one of those things where parents really think they’re doing what’s best for you. And in some ways, they’re right. All kinds of studies show how important good sleep habits are for…pretty much everything! Mood, health, grades, etc.
But sometimes we outgrow rules while parents are still holding onto them. I think it’s reasonable for bedtimes to get later as we get older. It sounds like just asking hasn’t worked for you, so let’s try another approach.
First of all, consider HOW you’re asking. Are you genuinely asking, or are you complaining/whining/throwing a fit at the end of the day when they’re exhausted and way more likely to just shut down any complaints?
Whenever you want something from your parents, it’s a good idea to ask for it at a peaceful time, when everyone is well-rested and in a good mood. You want to acknowledge their concerns by telling them you appreciate that they want you to get a good night’s sleep. But, you should also tell them how you feel by pointing out that, as you get older, you have a hard time falling asleep so early. Then, you need to lay out a plan to show them you’re ready for the new bedtime you’re suggesting.
For a later bedtime, here are some things you might propose:
- A trial run of a later bedtime: If they think a later bedtime means you won’t get to school on time in the morning, you’ll be grumpy during the day, or your schoolwork with suffer, propose a trial run. Maybe you get your bedtime moved back for two weeks, and in that time you show them how you can keep up with your responsibilities. And maybe take it in smaller steps; instead of a whole hour later, suggest a half hour to start.
- Later bedtime on the weekends: If part of their concern is your ability to do what you need to on schooldays, they might agree to a later bedtime on weekends or school breaks. That would give you a chance to show them you can be responsible with a later bedtime. Just keep in mind that a dramatically later bedtime on weekends can make it hard to get back on schedule during the school week.
- An in-your-room hour. See if they would agree to a set time when you’ll be in your room, but that you don’t have to go to sleep then. I think parents want us to be winding down by a certain time, but part of it is also that they are exhausted and want to start winding down themselves. So if they know you won’t be asking them for anything or making noise or bickering with your siblings, they might be more likely to let you stay up later.
I hope that helps! And I hope our readers have more ideas for you too.