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July 9, 2020

HELP! I CAN’T STOP OBSESSING OVER THE BAD BOYZ!!

Dear Nikki,

I’m totally in love with Victor Chen from your latest diary! But the thing is…it’s distracting me from a real boy who likes me! I know the Bad Boyz are just characters in a book, but I feel awful for daydreaming about Victor whenever this other guy is around. Plus my friends make fun of me for being obsessed with him. I know I shouldn’t care what they think, but STILL! Does having these feelings make me wierd? How can I cope with them? Help!!!

Dorky Desperate Daydreamer

Hi Dorky Desperate Daydreamer,

Okay, first of all, Victor is TOTALLY dreamy and no one could blame you! And second of all, you are NOT wierd!

Look, if you were obsessing over a real-life guy without giving the guy who really likes you a chance, that would be an issue. But, I think having a crush on a fictional character, or even a celebrity who you may never meet, is a bit different. (And even celebrities are kinda like fictional characters because what we see may not be who they really are.) Having these wild crushes is like having a fantasy about being an Olympic gold medalist, the president or a K-Pop star. It may never happen, but it’s still fun to dream. And there’s nothing wrong with dreaming! I think it can even be healthy—a way to escape the real world, destress, and use your imagination. Those are all good things!

And—truth be told—the older we get, the better we control our haywire emotions. It’s just a thing that all of us go through as we grow up. So, you might be KA-RAY-ZEE about Victor right now, but by the time you’re an adult, not so much.

Of course, if your obsession with Victor starts to get in the way of your friendship with real-life guys like the one you mentioned, that’s not fair to him. If you’re ignoring messages from him to write a fan fic about Victor, then you might want to do something about that. If you’ve got pictures of Victor all over your room, but there’s no sign of your real-life friend, there could be an issue.

Think about how you’d feel if it was a real guy you liked obsessing over some fictional or celebrity girl. At what point would it make you feel jealous or insecure? At what point would your feelings be hurt? So, please give the real guy who likes you a chance. Take the time to hang out with and get to know him better, instead of spending the whole day doodling “I LOVE YOU VIC!!” all over your diary pages. It’ll help you get over your obsession.

As for your friends, their opinions on this really don’t matter. The thing is, we all have our own silly obsessions! For example, the friends who are teasing you are probably BTS fanatics!! I’m sure they’re super into stuff you can’t relate to, but (hopefully) you don’t make fun of them for it. If you can shrug them off, do it. If you need to point out that they’re obsessed with Pokemon, the latest TikTok dances or whatever, then do that (in a nice, joking way). Hopefully they’ll back off.

I hope this helps! Trust me, what you’re going through is perfectly normal.

And now I have to go look through all my photos of the Bad Boyz and drool over Victor myself!! SQUEEEE ☺!!!

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character or a celebrity? Tell us all about it in the comments!