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February 27, 2020


Dear Nikki,

Everyone compares me to my little sister and it’s SO ANNOYING! ☹ She is a lot prettier, skinnier, and more flexible than I am! I’m not that smart but she is in honors English, math and basically everything! We both do cheer and my coach says, “Oh, your sister is A LOT more athletic than you are,” and “Oh, your sister would never mess up her cheer routines.” Will it ever stop?!

So Sick Of Sibling Rivalry

Hi So Sick Of Sibling Rivalry,

Big yikes! I can SO relate to sibling trouble. My annoying sister is a lot younger than I am, which has it’s own downsides—TRUST ME—but it sounds like you and your sister are closer in age, if you’re in cheer together.

Having a sibling close to my age sounds really cool. Like, we’d get each other better, and want to watch the same stuff and listen to the same music and borrow each other’s clothes. I guess I’ve never thought about how we might be compared. Now that I think about that…UGH!

And it’s probably double UGH that she’s younger, but it seems like she gets more praise and attention! ☹

I bet it seems like everything is so great for her. But if you ask me, everyone has their own worries and issues. I bet she’s under A LOT of pressure, for one thing. She probably feels like she has to keep up with what everyone expects from her, or like she’d be disappointing people if she messes up her cheer routines or gets a C in math.

So maybe there’s some good to being the underdog? But still, you want people to believe in you. I get that.

I’m guessing you’re probably selling yourself short. Like, you’re probably prettier and smarter than you think you are! And you probably have strengths that your sister doesn’t have. Sometimes it can be hard to see our own strengths and good qualities, but I’m sure you have them!

Adults like your coach shouldn’t compare the two of you. When they say things like that, it’s fair to say, “I’m not my little sister, but I am doing my best.” Hopefully your maturity will help them stop comparing you to her.

Your best is all you can do! But you can also focus on your strengths and the things that make you stand out. And it might help to think about the pressure she’s under. As sisters, you should try to support each other!

So anyway, I think it’s important to tell people like your parents or coaches that you don’t like being compared to her.

And always remember to let your inner dork shine through! 😀

Do you get compared to a sibling? How does it make you feel? Do you feel pressure to succeed, or like everyone underestimates you? Tell us in the comments!