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December 12, 2017

TWELVE DANCING GRANNIES (OKAY, SEVEN)

When Grandma Maxwell called and asked if she could use our oven for the afternoon, I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into.

She’s been coming over to visit a lot more often since she learned how to use Uber. So I was expecting her to be dropped off by some random car. I was NOT expecting a van from her retirement home to park in our driveway, and SEVEN old ladies to pile out!

When I opened the front door, Grandma hugged me and said, “The cookie divas have arrived! Would you help unload our supplies, sweetie?”

The back of the van was FILLED with baking supplies—huge bags of sugar, flour, chocolate chips and sprinkles. Plus baking sheets, mixers, cookie cutters and stuff I didn’t even recognize.

I was just hauling the first load of stuff into the kitchen when some lady I don’t even know said, “Where do you keep your candy thermometer, young lady?”

I don’t even know what a candy thermometer is! Like, is that what you use when candy gets sick and runs a fever or something?!

“Grandma, what’s going on?” I asked, a little confused.

Grandma turned around as she tied on her apron. It said, “I’M ALL ABOUT THAT BAKE.”

“Oh honey, we’re trying to get ready for a our big holiday bash! The one all the families come to, with all the grandchildren. But the kitchen at our retirement home is undergoing renovation, so we can’t bake there!”

I’ve seen that kitchen. It’s big – big enough to feed aaaaaallll the old people who live there. And they think our kitchen is a good replacement?!

“Grandma, I don’t know—”

But then one of the ladies turned Christmas music on LOUD and Grandma just pointed at her ears, all I CAN’T HEAR YOU and started cracking eggs into a bowl!

I went back out to the van and texted my mom to let her know what was happening in our kitchen.

That’s fine. Whatever makes Grandma Maxwell happy! is what she texted back. Well, we’d see how she felt when she got home and saw the messy kitchen!

When I got back inside with another box of supplies, all the ladies were belting Santa Baby. Every bit of counter space was filled with bowls, cookie sheets and ingredients. The music was still blasting.

“Okay, Grandma!” I shouted. “I’m just going to be in my roo—”

“Oh!” she shrieked. “Nikki can answer your question, Gladys!”

I froze. Someone turned down the music. Gladys turned around and pointed to her apron. “Nikki, dear, my grandchildren gave this to me and they laugh every time I wear it, but I just don’t understand what’s so funny.”

There was a picture of an egg beater, and it said, “NOW WATCH ME WHIP.”

I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t help letting out a giggle-snort.

“You see? All the young people think it’s funny!”

I explained that it was a song lyric, and then they wanted to hear the song, but there’s kind of no point to that song without the dance moves, so I showed them a video on my phone. And before I knew it, all these baking grandmas were doing the whip and the nae-nae in the kitchen.

It was definitely one of the weirdest things to happen in that kitchen, and BRIANNA lives here!

That’s when I heard it. MacKenzie Hollister’s voice!

“OMG. WHAT is going on here?!!”

I looked over to see Brianna, with Mackenzie and her little sister Amanda. Mom told me the Hollisters would be bringing Brianna home from a playdate, but I didn’t think that meant they would come INSIDE our home!! ☹

“More young people!” one of the grandmas hooted. “Do you know how to nae-nae too?”

Amanda and Brianna jumped right in. They weren’t going to turn down dancing grannies! Mackenzie was horrified. I had to act fast! So, I took a chance.

“Come on, Mackenzie!” I called. “It’s super fun! Gladys will show you how to whip and how to nae-nae, just like the viral video on YouTube!”

I started to dance just as Mackenzie turned and RAN out the door like her designer jeans were on fire!!

I mean, really, what’s she going to do? Tell the whole school I had a houseful of grannies doing the whip and nae-nae? LOL!  Who would ever believe THAT?!! 🙂

What’s the wackiest thing that’s ever happened at your house during the holiday season?