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October 23, 2017

How I Ended Up With Chipmunk Cheeks!

Wisdom teeth sound like they should be a good thing. I mean, they’re called WISDOM teeth, right? Like, people who are extra wise get them or something.

Well, they’re NOT. Wisdom teeth should be called STUPID, AWFUL, EMBARRASSING teeth!

UGH.

If you don’t know, wisdom teeth are these molars in the way back of your mouth. For most people, they come in during the late teens or early twenties. So if you ever thought you were done growing new teeth…SURPRISE!!

The dentist told my parents I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed – before they’d even appeared! How crazy is that?! But I guess through the magic of dentistry, he could tell that they were going to cause a problem when they came in and it would be better to take them out before that happened.

Whatever. I was going to miss a day of school and have lots of ice cream. Sounded okay to me!

This was NOT wise!!

FIRST, I had to get up super early and NOT eat breakfast! Then, instead of going to my regular, comfortable dentist’s office where I still like to look at the Highlights magazines (don’t judge—the jokes are FUNNY), we had to go to this other cold, boring office. It was an ORAL SURGEON’s office. Which sounded super scary all of a sudden.

They were going to cut me OPEN and remove a part of me!!!

I texted Chloe and Zoey about how nervous I was in the waiting room. But then the doctor called me back and had me breathe this funny gas. And then I was waking up and it was all over.

But it WASN’T over!!

Because the surgery is the easiest part of it! I was passed out! When I woke up, I was SUPER woozy. I felt like I’d taken WAY too much cold medication.

The doctor gave my mom a bunch of instructions, but I was way too out of it to understand them. In the car, I kept hearing this funny dinging sound.

“Mom,” I said. “Answer the doorbell!”

But it wasn’t the doorbell.  It was my phone receiving texts. You can’t answer the doorbell in a CAR.  That’s how out of it I was!

Finally, we were home and my mom got me all set up on the couch. Finally, ice cream, I thought!

NOPE.

She handed me a wad of gauze and told me to bite down on it. When it FILLED UP WITH BLOOD, I was supposed to change it out for another wad of gauze!

I mean, if blood was still POURING out of me, shouldn’t I still be at the doctor’s office?! Or the emergency room?!!

Then it got worse. I went to the bathroom and saw my FACE. I looked like Brianna that time she tried to stuff an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows in her mouth at once! My cheeks were so puffed up that I was afraid I’d start floating away!!

“MOM!!!” I screamed.

Then I remembered she’d gone to pick Brianna up from school.

As soon as I heard a sound at the front door, I ran and threw open the door, shouting, “There’s something wrong with my FACE!!!”

Only it wasn’t my Mom. It was BRANDON!!!! 🙁

He was standing in the doorway, looking terrified. Probably because I looked like a MONSTER!!!

My face was ENORMOUS! I had bloody gauze hanging out of my mouth!! And I was ranting like a lunatic.

“Uh…I think your face is fine,” he finally said.

I have never been so embarrassed in my LIFE!!!

He came over to bring me an assignment, since I missed school. Isn’t he the SWEETEST?!

He tried to convince me he wasn’t freaked out, but that was a LIE. He rushed away like a monster was after him!

But later, he texted me. This is what he said.

I shouldn’t have said your face looks fine. 

OMG. I was freaking out! I mean, sure, I want him to be honest, but…

Then he added,

Because your face isn’t just fine. It’s always adorable. 

Adorable?!! OMG!!!

So maybe getting my wisdom teeth removed was worth it. And hey, if I can’t come up with a Halloween costume idea, I could just go as Wisdom Teeth Girl! 🙂

Hey readers!  What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you?