MY CRUSH TRANSFERRED SCHOOLS!
I have a problem. I can’t stop thinking about my crush! He transferred to a different school a few months ago. When he told me he was leaving, he had this sad look on his face which I can’t stop thinking about to this day! I feel really depressed whenever I think about it. And even worse, I saw him once after he left, and he hardly even noticed me! My grades have been slipping all because of this. Do you think I should try to get over him, or what? I’m really confused!!
Long Lost Crush Crisis
Hey Long Lost Crush Crisis,
A lot of times when people write to me about their crushes, I’m not sure what to say. It’s hard enough to figure crushes out when you see them every day. It’s even harder for me to know what’s going on in someone else’s school with people I’ve never seen or met before!
But this time…I know the answer. You DO need to get over your crush. I’m sorry. But he goes to a different school AND you’ve only seen him once in months and that didn’t go well. All signs point to a dead end. As much as you might be into him, I think that crushing on him will only continue to complicate things. Even if he was into you before, that wasn’t the case when you last saw him, right? When a crush is into you and misses you like you miss him, he would totally let you know!
I’m so sorry if that sounds harsh. But, I don’t want you to keep pining away over this guy, especially if you’re feeling depressed and your grades are slipping. I want you to start crushing on somebody who’s from your own school and pays more attention to you. (Not that you even HAVE to have a crush. Life might actually be easier without one for a while.)
So, HOW do you get over someone? Well…that’s tricky. I think in this case, though, it’s a GOOD thing that he’s not at your school anymore. It’s a lot harder to get over someone when you have to see them all the time.
I think you should also focus on making sure you don’t see him on-line, either. If you follow him on any social media, unfollow. If you hang out on the same websites or forums, steer clear. I know this is hard and right now you probably feel desperate to know what he’s doing. But, you need to give yourself some space so you won’t be reminded of him every time you turn around (or look at a screen).
Then, I think you should distract yourself. It doesn’t have to be with another crush. It can just be with anything that keeps you BUSY. Bonus points if it’s something that keeps your mind busy, even when you’re not doing it. So, join a team, try out for a play, run for school government, or volunteer. If you’re thinking up political slogans or memorizing lines, you won’t have time or energy to worry about a long-lost crush.
Or, it doesn’t even have to be an organized activity. Do stuff with your family. Focus on your schoolwork and bring those grades back up. Be more social with your friends. Have them over, go out to do things with them, or call and ask how they’re doing. When you focus on people who obviously care about you and don’t keep you guessing, it makes you feel a lot better about yourself!
You WILL get over this crush, I promise. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you will. The only other option is being miserable forever. And why would you choose that?